In the early fall of 1984
she gave her life to God
taking her leave for heaven



She left us to mend our broken hearts
... to pick up the family portrait
that had shattered



And that was just
the beginning when
Grandma Hopkins passed away



No matter how fast the days 
slipped into years
her presence will never stray too far
for her home and contents lingers



Three and half years later
in the early spring 
of 1988



My life of having grandmothers has ended
for quietly she leaves ...
no goodbyes ... no nothings



To know I had stolen one last hug
to know I answered her 
one of many last calls



Oh Grandma, 
were the signs there
did I cast them away



God!
How could I have left you
why didn't I stay
to be by your side
for you shouldn't have died
so sad and alone.



I went to your room
and there lies your paperback
down upon your bed



As I watch her 
go through your home
I felt like screaming
"Stop, she did not die"



Looking at your ruffled sheets
the sheets in which the angels 
came just two nights before 
to take you



I felt such remorse
I felt such shame
like I never felt before.



How in God's name 
could I have 
left you alone
to die.



If only I knew ...




Spring 1988